Tonight at Shibuya, 6-member S/mileage had our final live.
Yes. I’m sad.
We started activities as the founding members of “S/mileage” in 2009.
Lots of things happened then.
Members came and went,
and even though the S/mileage of the founding members had overcome our barriers, it took a lot of time.
At Budokan, I said that I loved the 4-member S/mileage so much that it was difficult to adapt to the current changes
That is indeed the truth. It was the truth.
Because they were my partners who debuted with me, and until our debut they had walked with me on that road for many years.
But you know, now I am very grateful that the 2nd generation members joined us. My feelings of love for the current members are very, very strong.
That is why I will write my memories of the 6 of us without looking back at the past.
When I heard that there would be applications for 2nd generation members I couldn’t withstand the shock
and I did not think that I would be able to love the 6 member S/mileage the way I do now.
The Morning Musume 1st generation members that I liked also said that it took quite a bit of time before they accepted the 2nd generation members.
Even though it’s normal now for Morning Musume members to join and leave, the founding members had to endure that sort of hardship at the time…
It’s not as though I couldn’t accept the 2nd generation members,
but there were many times when I felt like I absolutely couldn’t keep up with these changes, and I hated myself and I couldn’t stop.
The members grew in number, the atmosphere changed, and I kind of tried to stifle the real me, to crush it to death, but it lived on
I had to stand out somehow. If I didn’t leave some results then I wouldn’t be needed anymore, that’s all I thought about
I was not at my best then.
Of course, now if you asked me if I’m better I don’t think I’d be able to answer
I looked at the leader next to me heaping so much love on the 2nd generation members
I don’t know if you could say I was jealous or what
but at the time I couldn’t do that, I didn’t have that much affection
and perhaps it made me angry inside
but in any case I only blamed myself.
Still, the days passed, and the 6 of us encountered many things, overcame many things, and by the time I realized it I had spent more time in S/mileage with 6 members,
and I came to love them.
We couldn’t play in large venues for our shows, and then those videos got uploaded, but our live tickets weren’t selling at all! They got so mad at us..
We couldn’t go around on a tour, we played nothing but live houses, there were lots of times when it like this was all S/mileage could ever do, I was a kouhai back-up dancer…..
and we were miserable
but then we got to perform at Budokan, we performed in all 47 prefectures, and I felt so much love from our fans
We became able to do these sorts of things
and I had a lot of pride in this 6-member S/mileage.
I love all of them, they’re so strong in their competitive spirit and they don’t get discouraged no matter how people make fun of them or how people chastise them,
I can’t stand how much I smile when I’m with them,
and perhaps that is the real me when I’m with them. It was there from the start.
I am filled with joy that my dream of becoming a Hello!Pro idol, a dream I’ve had since I was small, has come true while with these members!
I guess it’s a bit late to be thinking such things today, the last day (´・_・`)
So, everyone in the S/mileage Family.
You have been stronger, more reliable than we members, and you have always been our support! Or should I say, you are our support!
I’ve been cheered up when I’m sad by everyone’s smiles and kind words
Every time we’re told about some happy job or news or something
I’m always excited and wanting to tell you all, like, I want to tell the fans! or, when can we let the fans know?
That’s how much I love everyone in the S/mileage Family.
Our group name is changing and our members are increasing, but I don’t want that to break our bonds, okay? (T . T)
Please come with me from here on out.
In my memories of the 6-member S/mileage at the solo live today, the reality is that I can only see a fantasy world and I can’t change that
but I don’t want to end it in sadness.
I want to make you think, with these 3rd generation members, this group, and these fans, it will all be okay!
It’s not a sad end, and my hope is that it will be a live you can see in the future.
Let’s enjoy ourselves with all that we’ve got, right to the very end!!!!!
S/mileage’s Fukuda Kanon